30 things I’ve learned in 30 years

Inspired by Noah Stokes’ blog post Thirty Four, as well as the book Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal that I read recently and loved, I decided to share 30 things, in no particular order, that I’ve learned in the 30 years of my life.

1. If something electrical isn’t working, turning it off then on again is a good way to fix it.
2. Pregnancy affects every piece and function of your body, not just the parts you would expect.
3. People don’t wear silver clothes and use jetpacks in the future (which is now, of course), sadly.
4. Having someone sincerely compliment your child feels even better than a compliment to yourself, surprisingly.
5. It feels immensely satisfying to peel sunburned skin.
6. When I say my name on the phone (ZO-ee), people often think I’m saying Ellie.
7. When you get an unexpected sum of money, you will usually get an unexpected car or home repair right afterwards, which seems like a bummer, until you realize you’ve been blessed to have that money to take care of it in the first place.
8. It doesn’t feel good to over-eat.
9. People often don’t do what’s in their best interest (see above).
10. I hate yoga and yoga hates me.
11. Cheese is not overrated.
12. Chocolate chip cookies are extremely common, yet it’s sadly very difficult to find excellent ones.
13. When excellent chocolate chip cookies cannot be had, mediocre chocolate chip cookies are still hard to resist.
14. People follow the rules, even when it would be more fun or beneficial not to, an impressive amount of the time.
15. Time flies when you’re having fun.
16. It’s OK to kill thousands of people in a movie, but don’t you dare kill the dog. (Unless the whole point of the movie is killing the dog, aka Old Yeller.)
17. The zombie apocalypse is inevitable.
18. When you call a customer service phone number, the automated phone recording will make you input your member number. But when you finally get to a real person, they’ll ask you for it again.
19. Do a job that you love.
20. A less-nice house is worth the shorter commute.
21. You can do it yourself, but paying someone else to do it is more enjoyable.
22. The tiniest amount of mustard can be detected, and it ruins an entire dish.
23. Harry Conick Jr is a serial killer. Just wait. It’ll come out. You’ll see.
24. When you have extra money, spend it on trips and activities, not stuff. When you’re an old lady, you won’t reminisce about the beautiful couch you once had, but you will think about how much fun you had at Yellowstone. (I learned this one from my paternal grandma, through my mom.)
25. You could be angry, but wouldn’t it be more pleasant to be happy?
26. Everything at Kohl’s is always on sale, regardless of whether it’s marked on sale or not.
27. I’ll eat anything once. Almost anything.
28. When coming up with a time estimate for a project, figure out what it would take, then double it. Or triple it.
29. Some people are reliably unreliable.
30. It sounds so trite, but it really is all about love.